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Since the beautiful day on the 27th, my life has been hell! I had recently finished reading "The River of Doubt". I know how Roosevelt must have felt. He was trapped, moving painful few miles each day on an uncharted river, sick as a dog, starving, dehydrated and no relief in sight.
Sunday night I went to bed with only a slight sunburn, a infintisimal scratch on my toe, a cramp in my back, maybe my kidney, liver, or just plain back pain from scrubbing the slime off the kayak. I took two Advil, ate dinner and had a cranberry vodka, and went to bed. Oh, and I got the glue off my finger.
During the night, I felt chilled, I put my coat over me. Then I felt hot and sweaty. I thought maybe it was menopause and didn't think too much more about it. But by morning, I had not slept well and had gone thru two or three more sweat cycles. I had no appetite whatsoever. I lazed around all day feeling like death warmed over. Feeling the worst when at the highest temperatures. Sipping only small sips of water, the last of the bottled water, I am hoping its just food poisoning.
Monday night, I shivered and sweated thru at least 3 rounds and had the strangest weird dreams. Kaliedascopes of body parts and animals and aliens. I felt like my body was telling me how the battle was going inside. It was intense and creative in ways a novelist would have a heydey describing.
Still unable to eat anything and determined to find safe drinking fluids, I opened cans of beets, pinapples, and asparagus and sipped the juices. I needed salts replaced from sweating so I heated up water and put part of a ramen packet in it. (There was no fruit but pinapple aboard, and the only salt was buried beyond my reach.) I have very little strength and feel nauseous when standing. So even using the toilet is a big undertaking. None of my ideas are curing my cravings and I still don't have the stomach for real food. I start fantisizing about hospital food. Yes, hospital food! I want those little plastic cups full of cherry jello and applesause, and vanilla pudding, and ice cream cups. And clean water.
Right about now, I am wishing we had bought ice. Even the fans don't take enough heat away during the middle of the day. I found the energy to read a bit in the book "Where There is no Doctor". I compare all the fever illnesses. I don't think it is Malaria because the fever wasn't high enough to get delirous, though maybe when I was dreaming? It could very easily be hepatitis, it would explain why I am not wanting to eat, but my eyes aren't yellow yet, so I will watch my eyes. There are none of the other symptoms of the remaining fevers, so I look up urinary infections. I go often in small amounts, but there is no pain. My back pain has faded away. Only my stomach feels tight. I finally empty my bowels and its watery but otherwise normal. So I am at a loss. Nothing fits exactly and I can only study so long, I vote for the UTI and take an amoxicillian at 1:30pm. Later in the afternoon, I read the part where amoxicillian is poison if it is hepatitis and the yellow eyes come later. Great! So I don't take any more amoxicillin. I need water! Clean, clear, cold water. We get the boat ready to sail. Head out in strong winds, and tack when the transmision goes out. (another story), anyways, Russ wants to go back, anchor, and fix it in the morning. I shiver and sweat thru a third night.
In the morning, after three hours of blood and sweat, the transmission is working again and we head out again. This time it fails right away and since he broke the homemade wrench this morning needed to tighten the coupling, we go on towards Panama. As usual, the wind is coming directly from where we want to go. It will be a long, torturous, slow route of tacking back and forth. I can hardly help at all.
Even just standing is now a challenge. I managed to stand just long enough though to see a whale glide by with a baby. Russ had seen them spout, but I had seen that before, I could't be bothered to expend the energy to go look, but when I stood to get air and other necessities, I couldn't have timed it better. The whales were no less than 50 yards off the starboard side when they slithered up and out and back into the water, right after each other, almost like they were all one whale. I'd guess as long as the boat or more, mayby 40' for the mom.
About midnight, I remembered the peach nector I had saved from the trip up to see the Embura Tribe. It was heaven, even warm, I felt the sugars and liquid easing my headache and giving me strength. I offered to spell Russ for a couple hours so we could continue sailing. I even made a tack and saw 5 knots. I felt fresh air and saw stars and felt almost good for a couple hours, but easily gave it up when he woke, and returned to my lee cloth bunk and misery of still another round of chills and sweats.
Its now Thursday and I feel a little better. In fact, I am hungry. But only for certain cravings. I find a pineapple in heavy syrup goes down and want more nectar. Apricot, peach, pear and I want water. I have sipped sparingly all I had and my lips are cracked. My skin tents and I have lost probably 10 lbs.
We are still tacking big 120 degree zigzags. The boat does not go to weather well. Then, there is no wind at all. Sitting in plain site of beautiful Panama City, skyscrapers shining in the sunlight, I can point out the bridge of the Americas, Ancon hill, the causeway and yet I can't get there from here.
The ocean is glass calm. A turtle surfaces. He can even make better time. My mocking turtle. Planes fly overhead. I imagine a young girl telling her she can see a pretty sailboat down there in the water and begging her parents to take her sailing. It looks so fun!
Boats go by on all sides but not along our path. We watch for ripples on the water and consider swimming when I ask if the 2 hp dinghy motor would do anything. It takes a while. The dinghy has to be re inflated, fenders figured out and fuel added but we make a knot or two of progress. I steer the boat. Russ sits in the dinghy using it like a tug tied by both ends. It works except when big waves almost throw him into the ocean. Finally after a couple curious hours, the wind picks up and we can resume sailing. We get good strong winds and are going to make it by dark. Only one more challenge.
I am feeling quite a bit better actually and its a good thing. The bay is packed jam full of fishing trawlers done for the day. I run the tiller back and forth as Russ trims the sails after every tack. I had a track of all the twisting and turning as we sailed thru. Fisherman were standing at the rails watching the silly sailboat charging down at them just to turn and duck away. The sunset was amazing and of course I have no hands free to take a photo. After at least 6 tacks, felt like twenty, we reached the sailboat pack and anchor by sail and thats when I accidently deleted the track. We took the dinghy to the causeway in the dark.
I immediately order a peach milkshake and buy a big bag of salty nacho cheddar Doritos and a gallon of cold clear clean water. I am going to live!
